US News & World Report: What to Do When Adoptees Lie and Steal
Note from Carrie: My newest piece for US News & World Report newest piece for US News & World Report on the complexities of adoption: “In talking with older adoptees who are better able to understand their emotions, I’ve learned that many adoptees feel as if they have been ‘stolen’ from their biological families. Even the most loving, open, nurturing parents cannot take away the reality that some adoptees feel like they are living a false identity.”
Nov. 2, 2018, at 10:31 a.m.
THERE IS A FALSE assumption that antisocial behaviors only occur in older children who were adopted out of the foster care system after suffering neglect or abuse. In fact, time and again I hear from distressed parents of children adopted at all ages that their children have been lying and stealing – and that they don’t know what to do about it.
Parents of children adopted as newborns or young babies are often bewildered and caught by surprise if their child hoards food, steals money and tells falsehoods. “I could understand if he had a history of hunger and trauma,” one mother explained. “But my son has never been deprived of food or love. I brought him home with me when he was 4 days old. Why is he constantly stealing money from my wallet and sneaking food from other people’s houses?”
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